Master Debaters

(updating this post as the debate continues devolves...)

I think maybe taping his side of the debate at a different framerate because Bush is, like, in slow motion or something. Either that or those 'ludes of Jenna's that Bush dropped before the debate are really paying off. He's, like, mellow, man, reeaal mellow. He's not even slurring his words like a drunk frat boy like he was at the last debate. But it's a facade because he's getting excited too easily, and repeating the same thing over and over. I don't know why he thinks insulting Ted Kennedy and Massachusetts is supposed to score him points.

I'm sick of this "sancticy of marriage" crap. I'm not for gay marriage but I'm against using the Constitution to discriminate against a group of people. If Bush were worried about the "sancticy of marriage" he needs to do something about the 50% divorce rate in this country. Personally, if I see a gay couple walking down the street I could care less if they're wearing rings on their fingers.

The mention of "activist judges" is just as lame. Sure some judges make poor decisions but Bush's plan is to load the courts with activist judges that he agrees with. There's no gain in that. And when it comes to gay marriage the judges are only interpreting their states' Constitutions and deciding that it's unconstutional to discriminate.

What was that laugh Bush just did when asked about health care? It was like the most evil sounding laugh I've ever heard. A slow, deep, raspy, devilish "heh heh heh". That was seriously freaky. It was like a 400 year old ghost with the flu. Was Bush momentarily possessed by one of satan's minions? We'll have to go to the instant replay on that one.

Or maybe I just heard it wrong.

I've heard that the moderator is Bush's golf buddy. Judging from the hard questions given Kerry and the softballs thrown at Bush, I guess it's true.

Kerry is starting to bug me. He never screws up. His brain actually seems to work and he doesn't vapor lock and stare at the camera like a deer caught in the headlights like Bush often does. On one hand you'd think a president should have the capacity to power coherent abstract thought processes but on the other hand we know both these twist are crooks so it's sort of reassuring to have a dumb one rather than a smart one. Who would you want managing your money? Don Corelone or Fredo?

Did Bush have a stroke or something? The whole left side of his face seems to be heading south for the winter.

Uh, hold on, Kerry's up again, time for my nap...

Well, you can pretty much kiss Special Forces good-bye because Kerry wants to double the number of SpecOps. The problem is that this will take a lean and mean fighting force and replace it with a monster beaurocracy and the training standards will have to be taken way down to fill the ranks. They tried it with the SEALs, didn't work. They tried it with Delta Force, didn't work. But I'm not so worried, I don't think the military will let it happen. The people with power in the military are spic and span Generals and Admirals and they're suspicious of those dirty long haired warriors.

Kerry lost the assault weapons question but not because Bush beat him, he beat himself. Bush was just towing the old NRA line but Kerry argued for the ban by saying it would make cops safer. He obviously doesn't understand the ban. If he did, would he change his mind? Who knows. Congress won't vote for it again anyway so I doubt it matters.

"God wants everyone to be free, and that's what guides my foreign policy" (I hope I quoted that right)

This, unfortunately, sounds a lot like some of the talk of the interventionists that got us into the Philippines at the turn of the century.

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