11.01.2004

*crickets*

Kinda quiet this election eve. Well, except for Drudge which reports:
"GLADIATORS OF AMERICA PREPARE FOR THEIR FATE...

The high priests of polling ordained that George Bush and John Kerry should both hold final rallies next to each other under the cliffs of downtown Milwaukee yesterday – Hector and Achilles finally meeting beneath the walls of Troy..."
I have no clue what this means or how it relates to US politicians. For that matter I'm fairly foggy on the link between slave gladiators in the Roman arena and the spoiled, reluctant but significantly enraged homosexual Achilles battling his nemisis Hector, the stalwart and sturdy defending hero of Troy, though I wouldn't mind seeing one of the candidates dragging the other around by the heels for 12 days behind a chariot or a limo.

On further inspection it's a link to a story which really puts the immense historical significance of it all in context. Apparently it wasn't really an event of earthshaking proportions, for Bon Jovi and The Oak Ridge Boys were present, and the gods would not allow such sacrelige were this to be something for the history books of the empire.

This little bruhaha, it seems, was the "eccentric climax to the bitter 2004 campaign." Well, eccentric, in an Oak Ridge Boys sort of way, and climactic in premature sort of way that would send Freud into a cocaine and morphine bender that would last until the next election.

Other than this little article of warped grandiosity, all seems rather quiet on the election front. I'd expected to see epic last minute revelations of the candidates seedy past, a dirty attack on Kerry's wife or the announcement from the Kerry campaign that Bush has chiggers, but it seems that we'll make it the last few hours with a few turds left unflung.

I attribute this eerie silence to the fact that people are probably busy loading their guns for the civil war which will probably start, oh... sometime wednesday. I, having no musket, have elected to ramain on the sidelines detached from the melee, opting to watch the carnage from a comfortable vantage point, and judging the whole affair the only way a man really can; on marksmanship.



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