There was an old Iraqi man...
... who had lived 40 years in the USA (Chicago) and who wanted to plant potatoes in his garden. However he was a little too old and frail to till the soil before planting so he wrote an e-mail to his only son who was in Paris studying at the time, explaining his problem.
I am feeling very sad because I will be unable to plant my potatoes this year. I am far too old for such heavy work. If only you were here my problems would disappear, for you are young and strong and could till and turn the soil without any bother.
A couple of days later he received a mail from his son.
Whatever you do don't touch the earth in our garden. That is where I have the "you know what" hidden.
That night at 4am, the garden is invaded by the local police, the FBI, the CIA, a SWAT team, the Rangers, the Marines, Steven Seagal, Silvester Stallone and a few more of the Pentagon's elite. They dig for hours looking for bomb making equipment, anthrax etc. but find nothing and eventually leave discretely.
The next day the old man receives another mail from his son:
I am sure by now the earth is perfect for planting your potatoes. It's the best I could do under the circumstances.