9.02.2004

Why Dont You Do Right

I'm in a blue mood so here's a blusey song..

Peggy Lee - Why Dont You Do Right.mp3

You had plenty money, 1922
You let other women make a fool of you
Why don't you do right, like some other men do?
Get out of here and get me some money too

You're sittin' down and wonderin' what it's all about
You ain't got no money, they will put you out
Why don't you do right, like some other men do?
Get out of here and get me some money too

If you had prepared twenty years ago
You wouldn't be a-wanderin' from door to door
Why don't you do right, like some other men do?
Get out of here and get me some money too

I fell for your jivin' and I took you in
Now all you got to offer me's a drink of gin
Why don't you do right, like some other men do?
Get out of here and get me some money too
Why don't you do right, like some other men do?

8.31.2004

She'll Kiss You Deadly!

That is the tagline to one of the worst movies I have ever had misfortune to witness; Zero Woman: The Accused.

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If I ask you to do something, will you promise me you will? Ok then don't under any circumstance see this movie!

I'm in the video store and there's absolutely nothing to rent so I do what I always do and check out the foreign films section. In my video store this consists of one three-foot section but it has some pretty good movies usually and this movie didn't look so bad. A hot girl playing a cop in an action movie, maybe not an award winner but a person could do worse.

The description on the back says she's an undercover cop in the "Zero Department." When people start turning up murdered with a skill worthy of the ZD's finest "assassin", the girl "is on the run from her own kind, hot on the trail of a killer who is her equal in every way." So you see, it's supposed to be a cat and mouse police action/thriller.

Unfortuately, I didn't see any of those plotlines. I never noticed that there was a string of murders, and she's an assassain anyway, not a cop who would track down a killer. 30 seconds into the movie I could tell it was going to suck just by the poor lighting and camera work, but I at least expected something resembling the description. Let me give you the plot as I saw it:

The girl is an assassain and she kills a guy then talks to her boss. She's lonely and hates this life so on the way home she has sex with a man in an alley(!).

She starts casing a bar looking for some guy, I never really understood who, and on the way home one night she sees a guy in the alley getting beaten and, I think, sodomized (thankfully that wasn't very clear). Our badass assassain does the heroic thing and sits down and waits until they're finished then carries the guy home where he lives from then on. At one point they start to have sex but he explains that he can't get it up with a girl he likes.

Her boss takes her to some house outside the city and they talk in the driveway. He tells a story about an ex-lover female cop who was killed in an explosion. He asks if it was her. She asks if he wants to have sex to find out if it was her or not. They have sex in the driveway.

She comes home and her roommate is dressed like a woman. They take a shower together, and afterward he cuts her hair. (I didn't really understand much of this movie but I wasn't paying a whole lot of attention either).

Sometime later she is in the bar again and a guy tries to pick her up but she rejects him. As she's walking home she sees her roomate dressed as a woman taking the guy from the bar into a building. She keeps walking but hears a crashing noise coming from the building so she goes to check it out. She finds the man from the bar dead. Her freaky roommate jumps her, finds out it's her, and they start to have sex. Then her boss enters and shoots her roommate. I wasn't paying attention but I guess she killed her boss. Then she drags her roommate home and just before he dies he tells her he had a really good hard-on just before he got shot. THE END.

The people who created this disaster successfully blended the plot and cinematography of a porn movie and the sensuality and eroticism of a documentary. I don't know why this movie was made. It wasn't to tell a story and it wasn't to show action. It's not about sex either because it's never shown, she just sorta leans up against people and sex is allegedly happening when she does.

There are some movies that leave me absolutely puzzled as to why the hell they were made and how on earth they convinced someone to finance the production. This is obviously one of those movies.

The back of the DVD box has a review by "Midnight Eye Review" which says "Effectively plotted, well acted, and ably directed" which is funny because that's precisely everything this movie is not. I mean, they could just said something noncommittal like "A real thrillride!" and left it at that, but they praised specifics in all the areas of filmmaking that the movie is totally lacking.

I will say, however, that "She'll Kiss You Deadly!" is going to be my new catch phrase.

8.30.2004

To hell with Gentoo

How did they invent compilers without having a compiler to compile them?

I'm back on my backup Suse install because Gentoo sucks. I got Gentoo up and running and tried to update the system (the CD I installed from was a year old). Of course, they recommend you update portage itself before you use it to update everything else, so I enjoyed over two hours of patiently reading a book as portage updated itself. Two hours sounds like a log time when you're trying to get your computer to work, but that was only the halfway point. It was here that it died on the congif for some package. Why did it die, you ask? Because portage didn't update gcc right and the old gcc was deleted. It said somthing like this
Checking for gcc... YES
Checking whether gcc can build binaries... NO
Config error! GCC cannot build binaries!
Well, that sort of leaves a person without many options. You can't compile a new compiler without a compiler.

To hell with this. I've spent two days trying to get this to work. I'm installing Slackware tomorrow, maybe tonight if the download doesn't take too long. Ah, Slackware, forgive me for straying to ricer distros and bestow your blessing of simplicity and stability upon me once again.
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8.29.2004

sometimes linux sucks

I've been using Linux exclusively for over three years and though I'm comfortable with it, every now and then I don't have a clue what's going on and I get the fear.

I bought a new hard drive, backed up what I could access and reinstalled Gentoo. Everything went fine up until I tried to configure the network. When I first got DSL, my ISP only had one option; the Alcatel USB DSL modem. It's actually a very reliable modem and the setup under Linux is a breeze, but there's never an option to install it during the Linux install. So you have to install the system, then hope you have the drivers backed up (which I did) and install the modem later. No problem... usually.

Between going to the firing range, shopping and going out to eat with my dad, I somehow accomplished installing an older version of Gentoo and building a good kernel but, unfortunately, KDE needs the tiff libraries and portage kept trying to get them off the internet and just wouldn't listen when I told it that the stupid file was right there in /usr/portage/distfiles. I edited the .ebuild and did everything else I could think of, but it still wouldn't listen. I know there's some simple answer that I'm just not aware of, and in fact I think I've had that problem before and found a solution, but I decided to install the modem, figuring that would actually work best since I could update the system before installing KDE. No problem... usually.

I tried to install the modem but I needed something online, I don't even remember what now, to get it to work. So... I decided to go with my last-ditch backup plan; install Suse. Suse was the first distro I used way back when I was a newbie and as a result I have installed and broken it so many times that I'm like a Suse 7.3 master. I can install it and be on the 'net in just a few minutes then I can then get the files and answers I need to solve my Gentoo problems (which I never had the first time I installed it from this CD). Sounds simple, and it is... usually.

In comes Bellsouth to round off my evening.

First, I got the Suse and the modem installed only to find out that I had lost my password. I laid my old hard drive next to the computer and hooked it up and finally retrieved it with a little hacking. Then I spent two hours trying to get my modem to work only to finally remember that my ISP, bellsouth.net, decided to change the system a couple of months ago. It was "to make your internet experience more secure" or some such BS. The result is that you can't simply sign on with your user name, you have to use "your_name@bellsouth.net." I, for one, feel so much safer now that anyone trying to crack my ISP account will have to know the name of the ISP. I mean, that'll get 'em every time. (oddly, as part of this upgrade, they discontinued the use of numbers in your password. Now only lower and uppercase letters work so there goes any illusion about more security).

Anyway... once I finally remembered to use my user name in conjunction with the ISP domain name, I had my netizenship restored. Tomorrow is Gentoo-fixin' day and hopefully I'll have something to blog other than my bitching.

Boy, blogspot sure looks like crap while using Konqueror 2.2...

downtime

I probably won't be posting much for a couple of days due to a disk failure on my computer. It only affects part of my home directory but it keeps me from logging in and even from creating a new user. I've lost most everything I had in my home directory except for a couple of directories that I can still access. I guess it has bad sectors, but I might as well replace the whole thing. It's really time to replace this whole computer but unless some of you rich folks want to make a donation I don't really have that kind of money to throw around right now. I'll be back as soon as I have time to deal with this...

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