What's a man gotta do to get whisked away to Guantanamo Bay for questioning?

According to the Washington Post, inmates at Guantanamo Bay are routinely sexually taunted by female "interrogators."
The women rubbed their bodies against the men, wore skimpy clothes in front of them, made sexually explicit remarks and touched them provocatively, at least eight detainees said in documents or through their attorneys.

A wide-ranging Pentagon investigation, which has not yet been released, generally confirms the detainees' allegations, according to a senior Defense Department official familiar with the report. While isolated accounts of such tactics have emerged in recent weeks, the new allegations and the findings of the Pentagon investigation indicate that sexually oriented tactics may have been part of the fabric of Guantanamo interrogations, especially in 2003.
The military investigation of U.S. detention and interrogation practices worldwide, led by Vice Adm. Albert T. Church III, confirmed one case in which an Army interrogator took off her uniform top and paraded around in a tight T-shirt to make a Guantanamo detainee uncomfortable, and other cases in which interrogators touched the detainees suggestively, the senior Pentagon official said.
I.. am.. appalled. Appalled I say, at this administration's constant coddling of potential terrorist detainees. I mean, I don't know how it is where you're from, but around here you gotta pay for that shit!

Can someone point me to an Al-qaeda sign-up form or something? I think I could handle just sitting around all day in a tropical climate eating three square meals while waiting for the chicks to pop in for a lapdance.

But seriously, this isn't "torture" or "abuse" really, at least not the caliber of the anal rape fetishists at Abu Ghraib, it's just stupid and embarrassing. Four hundred billion dollars a year spent on defense. Three trillion dollars in the last decade and this is the best we can come up with? I mean, this isn't some backwoods terrorist detention facility where they run things a little lax, this is Gitmo baby, where all the professionals go to pry the information out of the bad guys.

Ah yes, the pride of serving the nation, the honor of wearing the uniform, the excitement of giving a terrorist who hasn't shaved or showered in three years an erection. Uncle Sam wants you!

And what about these girls anyway. I picture their families at home with yellow ribbons on their door in honor of their daughter overseas fighting evil, while in fact they're defending the homefront by dry-humping people like this and this.

What the hell's the matter with these people? Haven't these people seen movies? Arnold Schwartzenegger never stuck anything up anyone's butt. Clint Eastwood never gave anyone a lapdance for information.

You get the bad guys and question them seperately, play one against the other. Good cop bad cop, all that shit. "Your buddy ratted you out, told us everything." "Oh no, he's the one who bought the explosives, not me." -go to the other guy- "Your buddy told us all about the explosives you bought." "yeah I bought them but he's the one who met the contact in Islamabad"

We all know how it's done. Why are they running this shit like a porno movie? Haven't they seen Law And Order and CSI?

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